i’m feeling so overwhelmed with pain. the strong wave of nausea creeping up my body, my fear of centipedes coming back to haunt me, getting less sleep than normal because of these things but also the overload of work and the amount of studying that needs to get done. i feel stressed out even more than i usually am. i just want to get away from all of this. somehow jump out of my own life and into a different one.
This is why it hurts the way it hurts. You have too many words in your head. There are too many ways to describe the way you feel. You will never have the luxury of a dull ache. You must suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much.
i want to be more responsible and independent instead of just wallowing in my self pity and bitterness. i’m trying really hard to be who i want to be, i just hope that i succeed.
I’m paranoid to the point where I want to punch myself in the face…like even if people tell me they enjoy my company, invite me places, and happily start conversations with me, I will still be 700% convinced that I am a waste of their time and that they secretly hate me and are talking to me only because they feel they have to
(via komahlna)
